In physics, there is a law according to which, plus and minus inevitably attract each other. Many carry this rule to life, saying that in relations, opposites mutually complement each other. According to this theory, it turns out that the happiest unions are those where a man and a woman are strikingly different from each other.
Alas, we have to upset you. The strongest and strongest are those families in which the husband and wife are most similar in their views on life, interests, and worldview. Whatever one may say, family life is such a thing in which partners have to look in one direction.
But why is it that we most often choose spouses for those who are our opposite? After all, it is this reason that most often sounds during divorces - they did not agree with the characters. Let's figure it out.
1. We think with the heart, not with the head
At the first time of dating and dating, our brains are so clouded with love that all the shortcomings of our partner seem like funny delights to us. It is understandable - the hormones produced during love dependence and the stage of being in love are so strong that we are unable to rationally and soberly assess the situation. By the way, this love intoxication can last a very long time. And only after a few years of marriage, we begin to understand that a person who is nearby, does not suit us at all.
2. We are afraid of loneliness
One of the most commonplace reasons is the elementary fear of loneliness and flight from it. There is no time for choosing a partner who is picky. And no matter that he does not want a family at all, he does not like children and a born bachelor in life. We then think that we can change a person, but, alas, according to someone else’s desire, people do not change.
3. We want to be "like everyone else"
Like everything, it means with a husband, a family and a couple of nice kids. Still, after all, the friends have long spent their magnificent weddings, and the relatives from all sides do nothing to remind that time is ticking, and the watch is ticking. Therefore, in pursuit of prestige in the eyes of others, we are so chasing after marriage. And, often, it all comes down to the only goal - to prove to everyone that I, too, can and are no worse than the rest.
4. We do not know how to manage our own feelings.
A very small number of people can say with confidence that they have the art of controlling their feelings. Basically, everything happens exactly the opposite - the emotions cover us, overwhelm us, make us dependent and control us. The result of this is that we cannot rationally and prudently approach the choice of a partner, but rely on momentary cravings and pleasures.
5. We do not want to work on relationships
The main problem of most couples is that they do not know about the transformation of love and relationships. When we get married, we confidently think that this state of reckless love and happiness will always be with us. We try to conserve it, close our eyes to difficulties and run away from problems. This is a big mistake. Love never stands in one place. It is transformed, transformed, moves from one form to another, and the change of each stage is accompanied by a serious crisis in the relationship. Those couples who are ready to meet the problems and, most importantly, work on them, realizing that the state of cloudless love cannot last forever, can create a truly happy and strong union.
6. We blindly believe that our marriage will be eternal
Yes, this is a blind conviction that a divorce is from the realm of fantasy, that a partner will never change or betray, and relationships will not collapse. On the one hand, living in such pink dreams is very convenient. Perhaps it is they who help create their own little world and protect it. But in the event that your inflexible arguments clash with the truth of life and fail, it will be a very big blow for you, from which it will be extremely difficult to get out.