If you suspect that your partner has an affair, you will be worried about the future of your union. But does it make sense to blame the spouse for cheating without a reason? Before drawing conclusions, you can ask him the following five questions. They will help you understand whether he is cheating on you or not.
1. Why can't we go together?
In the same vein, you may ask: "Why do not you want me to go with you?". If before almost everything you did together, and now he prefers to be alone in his free time in most cases, this can be a signal of his betrayal.
In the end, why is it so important that he go without you? Doesn't he want to be seen together? Suddenly, the waiter at a local restaurant admits that you are not the woman with whom he had dinner last week? Or is your man hiding something? Is he secretly going to meet someone else?
If your birthday or anniversary is coming, he may be planning a surprise for you. Or, probably, your half really needs to be alone for a bit.
2. Can I see your phone?
Previously, when someone wanted to talk with his secret passion on the phone, he had to wait until everyone else left the house. In the modern world, unfaithful wives or husbands can be in touch with their lovers constantly and, again, in secret.
If your partner is defended or declined when you ask to see his phone, this can be a serious sign that there is something in his phone that is definitely not meant for your eyes. In this case, you can decide to check the call log, sms, instant messengers.
3. Is there a reason you now pay less attention to me?
If your partner is cheating on you, he is more likely to pay you less attention than before, because his energy is directed to another woman.
However, this question requires some caution: it’s normal when over time the amount of attention you pay to each other changes. Remember when even the usual grocery trips were fun and exciting? Now, after several years together, this is just another routine duty. That is, what seems to be inattention can actually be normal for long-term relationships.
And there is also a reverse question, the answer to which is also important, namely: “Why do you suddenly give me so much attention?”. When men cheat their chosen ones, they sometimes feel guilty or anxious because they suspect something, so they try to be even more loving and attentive than usual. As a result, such excessive attention may also cause suspicion.
4. Would you like to spend less time on social networks?
A recent study by the University of Missouri shows that there is a link between the intensive use of social media and infidelity in relationships.
Is your partner almost always online in social networks? This does not mean that he necessarily changes you. However, frequent communication with other people on the Internet, especially when it enhances a sense of intimacy, can signal something more than just innocent correspondence between good friends.
The ease with which people can send and reply to messages on social networks, the lack of social signals (which could act as prohibitions) and the confidentiality of communication make flirting too accessible.
Of course, it’s unlikely that all the cracks in a relationship will disappear if you spend less time on social networks. But both of you may have more free time, which you can give to each other, and not to your friends in mobile applications.
5. Are you cheating on me?
This last question is not for the faint of heart. You probably should not ask it, unless you are sure that you want to hear the truth. Your chosen one will answer you either yes or not, and you either believe him or not. Watch your body language and listen to his answer tactics: for example, he can answer a question, asking you the same.
Regardless of the answer, this question can be the beginning of an important dialogue about the future of your relationship. Even if he is not being cheated, your feeling that having an affair on the side is possible is a big red flag indicating that there is something to work in the relationship.
Although the situation in each pair is individual, these five questions can help you to understand whether your partner has an affair or not. Even if there was no betrayal, the nature of these questions should make it clear to your man that there are things that you both have to work on. Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, with these questions you can begin your journey to a happier life, with or without it.