We all know that we want our significant friend to make for us when we have serious intentions. Those things that make us feel loved. For a woman, the first thing that comes to mind is to hear him say, "I love you."
We simply cannot wait to hear these three special words from a person who means so much to us.
We communicate, we feel in love, therefore, of course, what our other half feels to us is very important. We want to feel loved. We want him to say something like: “You are too good to be true, I can't take my eyes off you.”
Of course, very meaningfully, to do for him what we want him to do for us.
So, as soon as we begin to feel intimacy with him (often right after we become sexually close), we let him know, unconditionally, that he is special to you and he owns your heart. We let him know that he is your only one with his words and actions.
But instead of making him feel loved and get closer, it often causes him to step back and suddenly become more distant from you.
Because, despite what we want from him, it is not necessarily what he wants (or needs). In fact, on the contrary, it makes him feel overly constrained, before he is ready to say “I love you”.
Instead of strengthening your bond, he pulls away and runs in a different direction from you.
At this moment, we are afraid, and we are trying to pull him back, usually giving him more of what, in our opinion, he needs. You try your best to show him how much you love him, so that he realizes that you are really the perfect woman for him.
You try to be as sexy as possible. You are trying to cook him dinner, to show him how you can take care of him. You could buy pleasant things for him or take care of other things so that he would notice how caring you are.
This is, of course, great things in a happy, healthy and committed relationship that has already matured after he wanted to leave. But this is not something that makes him want to act first.
So, how to push him to get closer?
There are many things that most men would like to do to show love. Unfortunately, for most of us, these things are not so natural.
If you can cope with at least a few of them, you will be better than any of his ex. Here is how men want to be loved:
1. He wants you to let him keep some of your independence and freedom.
This is one of the main reasons why men withdraw when they begin to feel that relationships are becoming serious. It is almost like a subconscious "test" that he gives you. The good news is that when this happens, you can feel good knowing that you are going to the next level of relationships.
This is because he feels that he is losing himself in a relationship. He wants to know that he is still self-sufficient and he still wants to do some of the things he did when he was alone and independent.
Yes, it can be scary, because for you it means that you have to trust him. This can be difficult, especially if in the past you had people who deceived you.
When he starts to pull away like this, you may be tempted to squeeze him and never let go. Maybe you start looking at his phone or checking his email when he isn’t looking. These signs of distrust will push him further.
Until he gave you any reason not to trust him, loosen the leash and give him some time for yourself.
Men need time to be with themselves and time to be with friends. Give him what he is looking for, without any charge, and his love for you will only increase.
2. He wants you to maintain your independence.
This is the other side of the coin - he wants to know that you can handle many things on your own. If you just sit at home and wait for him to return home, call or send you a message, he will feel the pressure.
Even if you don’t get upset about it, he will feel that you are just waiting for him to return to you, he will feel under control and suffocate.
He should know that you are all right, you have your own life, besides relationships. He wants to know that you own your own happiness. This relieves stress and relieves stress from relationships. All this makes him want you more.
It’s like an old saying: “Your absence makes your feelings grow.”
Indeed, to be in a healthy relationship, you first need to have a healthy relationship with yourself: this is a win-win.
The next time he meets with friends, take this opportunity and enjoy yourself. Then he will know that your happiness does not depend on what he does (or does not do).
He will like to listen to how your day has passed when you return home together, and although he may not even be aware of this, he will put you in a much higher place in your life.
3. He wants you to know how important you are.
This is a very difficult question for many of us, especially when we fall into the trap of strong relationships. We want our man to accept us, to feel that we are valuable. But the problem is that it is not. This is actually what you need to bring with you in a relationship.
You show it by letting him know that you have some kind of framework and moral principles. He may check you, perhaps without even realizing it. If it seems to him that you are allowing him a lot, he will start losing interest and will feel that you simply cannot stand up for yourself.
On the other hand, if you show with words and actions that you actually have moral principles, he will look at you differently. And just such a woman, he wants to devote his life.
4. He wants you to keep him in good shape.
This refers to the differences between men and women. Women want their man to put them on a pedestal, confess their undying love to them, cherish their essence and make it clear that she is the only woman he will ever love.
If you do, then most men will start to lose interest. Yes, men love heartfelt compliments and they like to know what you think about them and take care of them, but try to stick to this little playful distance so that he knows he can lose you at any time.
He must feel that there are many other men who would be worthy of you if he is not careful.
This should not be a subject of jealousy, so you should be careful. The logic is that you are more than worthy, very desirable, and he is lucky with you. He also needs to know that he must continue to conquer you in order to preserve your love.
If you have this kind of thinking, it will manifest itself in everything that you say and do, and as a result he will continue to love you. And guess what? This is exactly what he wants to do.
If you can handle these four things, these will be the key points for capturing his heart forever. He will know that he has won for him, and you are worth winning again and again.