We all dream of having the perfect man: a man with whom we want to live for the rest of our lives, to make each other happy.
But before we meet such an "ideal man", we need to go through a few failures, otherwise we could have mistakenly turned out to be the guy we initially thought was Mr. True, but he turned out to be completely different.
Sometimes we really think that we love a man, but this is only because we see the good through his many flaws. Not to say that flaws are always bad. I mean, we all have them. But some shortcomings cause damage not only to ourselves, but also to others. Things like lack of motivation, constant rudeness and manipulation.
When we are deeply in love, we do not see it. We see Mr. Ideal, or at least the one we consider Mr. Ideal. But here's a tip: when you wake up from this dream, run and don't look back.
Whether you are looking for a new man or Mr. Ideal, you may want to follow these recommendations on how to choose the best:
1. Don't get carried away by a guy who doesn't have a job.
Be careful with men who are out of work, even if you are very interested in them. It is often better to keep him in the friend zone while he finds himself.
A person without work has low self-esteem, he is likely to be emotionally broken, and he still needs to find his own way in life. Wait while he does something that he loves before being carried away by him.
He is lost and will not appreciate you for what you are, and any financial or emotional help from you will not reassure him, will not wake the “person” in him and will not lead him on his way. His life is a big mess and you will become another part of this chaos.
It's just not worth it. Do not even enter into a relationship with such a man, if you are not ready to experience great disappointment.
2. Do not ignore signs of manipulation.
Little promises are kept and tell a lot about the male character. When he speaks, he promises to be there at a certain time - these seemingly unimportant actions reveal his true nature.
A real man does not manipulate his actions and words to get your approval or to avoid conflict. In the way he keeps his word, his value system is revealed and how much he respects himself and you.
But to be with a person who is not responsible for his words and continues to justify his actions with a lie is to be with someone who is not sure of himself. You will always think about whether to trust him or not. You will begin to question his intentions and motives and, eventually, also become uncertain. Most likely, it will cause extreme anxiety and drive you crazy.
An argument that you can probably imagine may be the following: “I see through him, and even if he thinks he can deceive me, he cannot. I can handle it, ”but this will only complicate the situation. Caution!
3. Acknowledge that he is a weak interlocutor.
Passion and attraction can temporarily blind women. But never be with a man with whom you can not have a real conversation and can not open up honestly and truly.
Talking and sharing is natural for women; it is an instinctive part of their emotional structure. Thus, in order to be able to talk about everything that happens inside them, their man is of paramount and crucial importance for the development of relationships. A woman should feel comfortable being in the company of a man. She needs an emotional and intellectual blow, through talking, to promote both her growth and that of a man. It is necessary to develop relationships. Interesting and stimulating conversations are the fuel to maintain strong and healthy relationships. Don't underestimate it.
4. Do not ignore his bad sense of humor. Run away from him!
Stay away from a person who takes life too seriously and rarely laughs. A person who is always serious will hardly make you laugh. A person with a disobedient trait will look at life problems with a more positive attitude and are more likely to solve them better than cynics who take every obstacle too seriously and refuse to look at the brighter sides of life.
Time will fly with a man who makes you smile and laugh all the time, and life will go like clockwork, even when problems interfere with everything. This is a quality that will add tremendous value to relationships.
5. Never settle for mediocre sex.
Do not settle for anything that does not make you go crazy sexually. Most women agree to mediocre sex, thinking that this is the best they can get, or they think that this is not a bad deal if everything else in a relationship is bad. This is a very good illusion.
Sex (passion) is the most powerful force that will govern your life, and this is a basic need that cannot be replaced by anything else. Sex is directly related to your self-esteem and the choice to be with a man who gives you less than you deserve, or fall in love with a man where there is no obvious chemistry between you.
Understanding how to choose a good guy means waiting for someone who sets your soul on fire, and not settle for someone who can barely take care of the needs of your body. Sex is the soul, not the body.