A few years ago, I had a boyfriend, with whom we met only a few months. Somehow he asked me to hold his phone until he did something. While he was gone, the phone rang, and I saw the name of the woman, with whom he had some meetings before our relationship. When the call went to voice mail, text messages from her began to appear on the screen, and although they meant nothing, I realized that he was still in touch with her, and it was still possible that these two were meeting.
We met for so long that I thought that he would never receive an SMS from another woman, but that was enough to make me upset and feel insecure about our relationship. I had a lot of questions about this case, as well as about his intentions. Although, I did not want to behave like a jealous and crazy, I still felt that I deserve the truth.
Often in the initial stages of a relationship you have more questions than answers. The vagueness of whether you can trust your partner can drive you crazy.
How can you fix your trust issues?
You do not want to be jealous, but there is a voice in your mind that wants to know why his ex is calling or why his dating profile is still active. The stronger your relationship with your partner, the stronger the relationship can cause a feeling of jealousy and insecurity.
So, what are the rules of how to build trust when it comes to dating, especially in the early stages of a relationship, and it is still unclear to you whether the relationship has the potential for a long-term future? How do you learn to trust your partner, at the same time, leaving time and space for him to determine exactly what he wants and how he sees the relationship?
Your answer to the question: trust is something that is growing. If you really trust, it means that you feel safe, share your thoughts, emotions and body with another person, without fear that he will betray you. This does not mean that you need to deceive, rather, he will not intentionally do something that makes you feel undervalued, or you cannot fully open up and relieve your anxieties.
Imagine trusting like a garden that needs care. At the beginning of a relationship, you are given a packet of seeds, a rusty tin can with water and some earth. You have to invest time, energy and faith. You must continue to water your garden and care for it, while remaining confident that the seeds will bloom. The benefits that you get from all the energy and love that you have invested in your garden will come with time, but although the seeds may not appear at the beginning, this does not mean that they will not sprout later.
When you meet someone for a few weeks or even a few months, you need to be patient, because your partner may need more time than you to figure out your feelings and what he really wants. This does not mean that you will wait forever for someone to announce that they only want to be with you. Rather, there is a transitional period between being lonely and meeting someone great.
It often takes some time to adapt to the disclosure and being in a relationship. It may take time to develop communication with a new man and find out his boundaries, likes and dislikes. Imagine meeting a man whose previous girlfriend didn’t like to talk or share her feelings. He may need time to get used to someone who loves to communicate and share feelings.
Similarly, behavior that may not have disturbed a previous partner may disturb you, and therefore there is a period of training that requires grace and faith. The trick is to continue to sow the seeds of trust, encourage your partner to be open and sociable, and be patient while he develops his feelings and desires. Encourage him to share his truth, even if he thinks it will hurt your feelings. He will be willing to be honest, even when it is uncomfortable.
Trust is the basis for any strong relationship, and therefore you must be willing to work on them and be able to hear the other person’s point of view, even when it seems that you are obviously right and he is clearly wrong. As you develop a spirit of patience, trust, and honesty, you will improve your connection with your partner.
It takes some time, and it takes a lot of faith, but ultimately it pays off. The questions and tests that you encounter at an early stage are ultimately reduced, and even if you have moments of uncertainty or some problems. In relationships, there is what it takes to survive difficult times when both partners trust each other.