A few weeks ago I was training with a friend when he said the unthinkable: "If I met my wife today, I would not marry her." His cruel words stuck in my head and made me think about how people in relationships change over the years and how love generally goes away.
There are such couples in which he and she instead have been so long that they even stopped trying to treat each other well. The efforts do not seem to be worth it, so they simply settle in their comfort zone, where each person turns into a simple shadow of the former and bright self. And this, unfortunately, leads to divorce.
Is there a way to prevent this? Of course! But it requires putting your pride aside, honestly looking at how you have changed over the years, and being open to reuniting with yourself.
Here are the most common female errors in family life and ways to correct them. With their help, you can remind your husband why he fell in love with you many years ago.
1. You no longer respect and / or dislike your husband.
Remember when you first fell in love with your husband. He was probably the one you really respected or loved very much. But after spending ten years together, instead of laughing at his banal jokes, you roll your eyes capriciously. Instead of listening to his long stories, you interrupt and say that he needs to hurry. Instead of emphasizing his good qualities, you criticize his bad ones.
Solution: admit that you turned into a female critic, and then close your mouth. Seriously. Look only for what you love and respect in your husband, but if you can’t think of anything good, don’t say anything at all. You married him for an obvious reason. You just need to stop being critical to reconnect with the person you once fell in love with.
2. You stopped taking care of yourself physically and emotionally
When you first met your husband, you went to great lengths to be the one that fascinated him so much. You did your hair and makeup every day, regularly engaged in yourself and controlled your emotions. But over the years, these little things do not seem so important to you.
It’s normal to lose inspiration, especially if you told yourself that you dressed beautifully for him, or stayed in shape to be more attractive to him. He will not mind if you start doing it for yourself.
Solution: start re-connecting with itself. Find activities that you love, such as zumba or running. Start painting again. Dress every day beautiful and sexy. Ask yourself if your emotions or mood swings are affecting your marriage. Strive for self-improvement as you did when you were lonely or met.
3. You have no favorite business
Many women stop doing what they love as soon as they enter into a relationship. Unfortunately, this is the “kiss of death” for long-term relationships and marriages. You have to keep your life out of relationships and continue your hobby.
Solution: find a hobby. Go to the weekly yoga class. Sign up for pottery classes. Take time to drink coffee with friends. Force yourself to go out and see other people besides your children and husband.
4. You have no passion for life and new impressions.
It is a myth that men love young women. The truth is that men love women with young energy: passionate, who are delighted with their lives and new experiences. If you feel that your best and most impressive days are over, this tells you how you feel about yourself.
Solution: change your daily routine and start living again. Do what gives you strength and gives you more life energy.
5. You are more mother than lover
Be honest: do you still treat your husband as a man, or do you constantly tell him to "eat vegetables" and "rinse your plate"? Do you swear when he buys french fries instead of salad or you choose clothes for him because you don't trust him in choosing the right tie? If you take care of your husband as you take care of children, you do not allow him to be a man.
Solution: leave him alone and let him be yourself. And who cares if he decides to wear a colorful tie for dinner?
In addition, he needs to have free time, doing what he likes. And then, when he comes home, let him tell you about it. Do not roll your eyes when he tells how he replaced the air filter in the car. Just listen and be happy that he is your man.