Finding a worthwhile excuse for a novel with a married man is hardly possible. But it was, is and will be. In the end, mistresses are our daughters, sisters, aunts, mothers and neighbors. These are women who are among us.
So, 5 things that wives should know about mistresses.
1. She genuinely feels guilty.
This is so, believe it or not. Mistresses feel guilty. As soon as she realizes that her lover is legally married, she experiences a whole range of emotions associated with feelings of guilt, such as despondency or depression.
The mistress feels guilty when her lover prefers to spend the weekend with her, and at this time his wife and, possibly, children are waiting for him at home. She feels guilty whenever she hears other people talk about the deception of their spouses. She feels guilty when watching films about adultery. Guilt is the ghost that accompanies the lover not only throughout the whole novel, but also after it.
However, not all lovers know that their object of passion is married. There are quite a few men who will go to great lengths to hide the fact that they are married. If the husband was able to have an affair on the side and betray the woman he once married, that means that he is able to constantly lie to both his wife and his mistress.
To summarize: if a woman is not a sociopath, then she, like any other normal person, will surely feel guilty for having crossed the border.
2. Perhaps she never planned to become a lover
Every adult is responsible for their actions. But, unfortunately, sometimes it happens that circumstances and wrong decisions make you resort to intrigue.
It is unlikely that in the wish list of any first woman she finds there is an item to have an affair with a married man, and also risk losing her career, respect, friends, and sometimes her own life. Not to mention that some of the intruders involved are also married and have their own families, which they endanger by their adventures.
Of course there are women who see nothing wrong with meeting married men, and probably do not regret it, but usually this is not so.
The husband will make so many promises to his mistress, until enough time passes, and she herself can no longer do away with it. Husbands go so far as to say that they broke up with their wife or divorced, or that marriage for them is just a formality, when in fact it is not. And if the mistress fell in love, she does not want to end the affair, even knowing that she is doing the wrong thing.
3. The mistress is jealous
If a woman dares to become a lover and knows that the object of her desire is married, then surely she will be jealous of him. She feels jealous whenever she closes the door behind him. She knows that he is going home, where the other is waiting for him. She understands that there, at home, he has a full life, part of which she was not destined to become.
If a mistress does not have a family, then she is pretty lonely. And her heart shrinks at the thought of how her lover spends time at home with his wife and children. She is jealous for sharing a bed with his wife. She will never know the true level of their closeness, and he can tell whatever he wants.
You can be sure that the mistress is jealous that her lover’s relationship with his wife is no secret to anyone, unlike her own. There is one thing that mistresses crave most of all - this is proof that her relationship with her lover is real. Like any other woman, the mistress wants her lover to be proud of her, tell her friends about her, and let the whole world know how much he loves her.
4. She fell in love with the wrong person.
Everyone knows that love and passion are blinding. And a woman who, because of love and passion, does not see stop signals at all, will eventually find that she has fallen in love with something completely different.
Mistress sooner or later will come to the realization of this. But for a number of reasons, she can continue this relationship long after she realizes her mistake: because of denial, fear, and, of course, love.
Of course, not all women are so emotionally attached to their lovers, but the majority - yes. Especially in relationships that last for many years.
5. Mistress can believe in a shared future.
How many women fall in love and believe in everything a man tells them? We all somehow come across this. If a woman knows that her lover is married, or he finds out about it after she has fallen in love, then there is no doubt that she was flattered and made many promises.
An unfaithful husband quite often tells his mistress, that he is allegedly unhappy in marriage and wants to divorce. This may or may not be true, another thing is whether he really divorces. If there are children or still the husband wants to be with his wife, then he will not divorce.
The mistress has already put herself in an uncomfortable position, and if she is in love with a man with whom she has an affair, then she will justify himself and suffer from deep denial. She may need months and even years to realize that the man was not going to leave his wife for her sake. And if he wanted to, he would have done it much earlier.
So, secrecy for her becomes the norm, and she begins to engage in either self-treatment or self-flagellation, in order to relieve the feeling of guilt and shame. Intrigues with married usually end sadly for mistresses.
Mistresses - they are the same women as everyone else. It is hardly worth condemning them.