Ask any grieving person who broke up because of infidelity: such love stories can lead to bad consequences. The reason for such novels is a woman "destroying someone else's house." Although in reality some women who sleep with married men want to have a healthy relationship with them.
Psychologists say that many women are attracted by the inaccessibility of family men. For them, the relationship with the "married women" is ideal, because such partners do not want more - they already have a family.
As for other women: although they may feel uncomfortable because of a man’s marriage, their own intimate problems attract them to someone who is inaccessible. Three women told why they slept with married men and what kind of experience they got from such a relationship.
Irina, 28 years old
“I met with Mr. Zhenik about a year and a half ago when my friend asked me to play keyboards in his band, and that person was a bass player.
I became interested in him because he was super funny, cool, stylish, sweet, generous, kind, caring, creative and artistic, not to mention his quirky habits. Chemistry was between us, but at first I was a little uncomfortable due to the fact that he was married. He assured me that they had a "do not ask, do not speak" relationship. I offered to tell her about everything several times, but he lacked courage. Finally, I gave up and believed him when he said that she would put up with it.
We spent time in the parks, in the countryside or in our studio, where we shared music and played for several months. It was nice that there was no such pressure when we had a completely committed relationship. And this allowed us to relax in sexual terms. At the same time, keeping relationships secret made me feel terrible, as if he was ashamed of me or of us. I felt guilty about the decision he made to hide it from his wife.
When he finally told her everything, it turned out that she was mad. Relationship ended terribly. He told me not to mess with him and his wife anymore, and since then I have not seen him. Almost a year has passed. I still have a lot of blame for all this, although at present I am in a relationship with a man who is not married, and I am very happy.
I think that such women, including me, sincerely believe that they can start a love affair with a married man, so that no one is hurt, and they really care not only about the man, but also about his family. This is very rare. "
Marina, 31 years old
“I met this man on a business trip about three years ago. Our relationship began with the fact that he was my mentor and helped me in my work. Few knew that he was married. He never wore a wedding ring.
He was an alpha male: smart, confident and very sexy. At work, he praised me for my speeches, which made me feel like a professional in my business. He was constant and I felt safe with him. Our relationship went into the category of love.
It was after our first kiss that he told me that he was married. I could not believe it. We spent so much time together, how could he have a wife? Then he began to explain how she offended him, how much they cursed, and I felt bad about it. There were times when I felt it was wrong. He led me to their apartment when his wife was on a long business trip. I felt very embarrassed. I also saw evidence of their quarrels - marks on the walls of broken objects. And I wanted to take care of him.
His inaccessibility was exciting, I felt the danger from such a novel. But it upset me, because we could not do the normal things that all couples do. I met some of his friends, but he never wanted to meet mine.
Our novel ended when I learned that everything that he told me about his wife was about him. He verbally insulted me and almost hit me in the face once during disagreements, but I stopped him and then he started crying. He drank too much and after that he dared to raise his hand to me. Then he tried to persuade me to do plastic surgery, which knocked me out of a rut. It took me some time, but I realized that he was crazy.
In the end, I broke up with him, and then came back because of his crying and apologies, only so that a week later he would part with me. I realized that his ego was beaten when I told him that I didn’t want to be with him, so he reconciled with me, just to part, so that he had the last word.
After we broke up, he tried to fix something with his wife, it did not work, and I think he very quickly realized that no sensible woman could cope with his ego for how little he gives in return. I hate him, and he is nothing more than a constant reminder of all the mistakes I made, and how low my self-esteem was when I endured it for so long. "
Nadezhda, 26 years old
“Six years after graduating from high school, I had an affair with my former gymnastics teacher. In high school, all the girls dreamed about him: he was a tall, energetic guy with bright blue eyes. The thought of being a student, age difference and taboo made me want him even more. When I was 17 years old, I remember how I fantasized that we were secluded in his office after school. We all knew that he was married, and it was rumored that he already had a child. However, I was flirting and feeling a little spark between us as we looked into each other’s eyes. When I was 18, he was 30–32, so he was at sexual age.
After years I decided to write to him. I was shocked when I received a message from him: “Thank you for writing. Looking good. ” We constantly corresponded and he asked me if I would come to my former school in the same form I had been in his classes. It was my dream. This was the man who put me a "4" for the fact that I did not run fast enough in the gym.
He met my friends and me (who also went to high school with us) at a Chinese restaurant. I remember getting into his car with a child car seat in the back. He behaved as if he did not hesitate to drive around the city with a former student.
The novel lasted about four months, we had sex a couple of times and it was unbelievable. He turned out to be a big pervert in bed, but I still had sex with him. The physical component of our novel was much less pleasant than my fantasies. This guy had a wife who worked as a fitness model and two children. He refused the idea of having sex in his bed at home when his wife was training. He spoke to me about wanting to see me in a restaurant when he was with his wife, or to meet me in the bathroom. At first I felt crushed and uncomfortable. I was an accomplice and acted in a completely different way, but I was so young and at that time really didn’t know how to do better. I could say no, but I was caught up in passion.
I did not like the fact that he was desperately trying to avoid his current family life and invade mine. I imagined that he should be "cool and sexy." And once I just realized: he is an unhappy physical education teacher who is disgusted with his wife and two sons. I can find better. "