A huge number of books and articles have been written and rewritten about how to build relationships with others. We study them and memorize excerpts from them by heart, but this problem is still one of the most pressing.
The reason we enter into relationships with another person is that we want to feel our connection with this person, we want to love and be loved, we want to communicate, in order for our life to be filled with meaning and joy. However, we often feel dissatisfied.
Most of my clients come to me with complaints about their relationships with people around them: they feel offended and unfulfilled. However, very few of us realize that we make two significant mistakes even at the subconscious level. We do not even understand that we are doing something wrong, since they are carried out at the level of reflexes.
In order to build healthy relationships, we need to avoid these two mistakes:
Finding the cause of your problems in others
Many of us are constantly unhappy with their surroundings. In our difficulty we blame the outside world, people and objects from this world. And we do not look inside at all in order to find the cause and solution of the confusion in our soul.
Let's analyze this situation on the example of a relationship with a man. As a rule, women blame their man for hurting and frustrating them. Now let's change the approach to this situation and consciously delve into yourself.
Ask yourself what is behind your hurt feelings. As a rule, there is some hidden reason for your grievances and grievances. Try to understand yourself and think about how you can satisfy your deepest needs.
This approach to the problem will significantly change the course of events in your romantic or any other relationship, since you will focus on yourself and not condemn the other person.
You forget that the most important relationships in your life are relationships with yourself.
From a very young age, we are taught first of all to take care of relationships with other people and to live our lives through the needs of the outside world.
However, we overlook the fact that our external relationships with people are a reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you want to be loved, understood, respected, then you first need to learn how to love, understand and respect yourself, and only then you can expect a similar attitude from other people.
Most of us, women (and men), sacrifice themselves in order to please others, help them and shield them from problems, in the personal sphere or in the professional. But we forget that first of all we need to take care of filling our soul, so that we can build the right relationships with others on the basis of good love for ourselves, acceptance of ourselves and our human value.
If you do not value yourself, then how can you expect recognition from your life partner, the director or mother-in-law?
If in your life there are these two problems that we talked about above, then this is a sure sign that you need to start working on yourself. One of my favorite sayings is: “investing in yourself is the wisest investment.” I want to encourage you, above all, to the life of the inner. I hope that you will understand that everything begins with us, and then you will be able to control your life and what is happening in it.
Let's stop pointing fingers at others and blame them for our failures. Stop looking for the guilty on the side. Take responsibility for your life and your relationship.
And decide that your next project will be you! You will not regret!