You dream of murder, but never of suicide. You are too selfish to deprive the planet of your wonderful presence. Because everything is always just about you. You become incredibly jealous when someone gets more attention than you, so you look for ways to destroy them. You seek to eliminate any person who dares to stand in the way of your stubborn, stupid egos.
A deep, heart-rending self-pity absorbs you. Angeriness is so deeply ingrained in you that a whole bottle of milk can sour from your throat. You never get tired of listening to your own whining. No one will ever pity you as you pity yourself. You will pretend to be sick only in order to hire a personal assistant to help you, because you are insanely lazy. You do not even disdain to pretend to be sick with a deadly disease just so that your partner will not abandon you.
The inherent duality that underlies your split personality is also the main cause of your personal atrocities. You will forever stop all contacts at the slightest insult. Even because of the suspicion of insult. You are a sadist who is unfamiliar with a sense of sincerity. You know how to ingratiate yourself with people, but you smile at them with gritted teeth. You are subject to endless and uncontrolled mood swings, and grief awaits anyone affected by them.
When it comes to emotions, in your case the definition of "hurricane season" is best suited. You seem to be approaching a tsunami or an earthquake: 24 hours before you plunge into your infamous mood, all the animals in the area will feel in danger and begin to scatter. You are too proud to admit your envy, too jealous to forgive the one who crossed your path. If you feel that you have been too kind with someone, you will steal something belonging to them. Like a crab crawling in a bucket and wanting to get out, you have to destroy everyone who rises above you.
You are the very essence of the concern about the attention of a teaser. You can rise only by humiliating others. Your pride covers your easily vulnerable ego and a sense of deep self-loathing. Therefore, you take out your anger on others. But every bully has a coward's heart. The problem is that you are too cowardly to admit to being a coward.
Your misfortune is the only thing you share with others. You will not be happy until everyone around you becomes as miserable as you are. You push everyone away, then bring them back just to be able to push them away again. You insult even your closest friends, and then wonder why they do not call you back. And when, finally, they call you yourself, you like to torture them, while ignoring them.
You bring people to your company just to use them. You see other living creatures only as pawns on a chessboard: use, send into battle, and even sacrifice their lives to achieve victory. You manipulate your friends, loved ones, family members and even pets. For you, everyone could be robots with success. Only your emotions matter. Oh, all these people are also endowed with emotions? Their right until their emotions start to go against yours.
Sometimes it feels like your only pleasure in life is to inflict suffering on other people. You specifically seek out unguided or dangerous people in order to tame them and then destroy them. You do not even care when people call you heartless, because in order to start worrying about this, you need to have a heart.
People do not like to get too close to you, because for them it is too painful. You have leverage over everyone and have a great deal of satisfaction when the pressure you apply causes them to scream. You will come up with the most heartless and cruel insult, which will cause great damage to their insecurity; once they begin to protest, you will only laugh at them and accuse them of behaving like whiners. However, all this anger of yours is only a desperate attempt to fill the great emptiness that has formed within you.
Nobody suffered except you. No one is familiar with injustice and pain better than you. If you combine all the bad things that have ever happened in the entire history of mankind in the life of every person, then your week will turn out to be quite normal. Even worse: all those people who call themselves your "friends" behave as if they were completely tired of your complaints.
You are reckless narcissistic. You do not believe that the Earth is flat, but you are absolutely certain that the whole universe revolves only around you. You - the person who, the very next day after your friend dies in a car accident, will ask his parents about what they plan to do with his personal belongings. You - the person who first appears on the announcement of the will, will be located in the first row, expecting to know what proportion he will receive.
Surrounding people are always interested in what is hidden behind your sinister smile, but you never tell them. You pretend to be modest, but in fact are very arrogant. You just do not want people to meet you real. You will never help anyone unless you are sure that they will give you much more meaningful help. You dream of becoming a dictator or gang leader, getting rid of unwanted people at the time, as the paparazzi will take pictures of the whole thing.