None of you apologize
Relationships (as well as their termination) involve two people. If neither of you wants to understand your role in a quarrel leading to a rupture, then you definitely will not wait for a return to the previous relationship. Even if you are the injured party, you still have the opportunity to learn a certain lesson from the situation. If you do not agree with this or if your partner refuses to recognize his contribution to the break in relations, then both of you will remain in current positions.
One of you insults the other.
If any of you physically or psychologically humiliates your chosen one, then you better break up. A course of treatment or counseling a psychologist will not help: sooner or later you will still slide down to the former behavior. For both you and your partner, the best choice is to forget about the past and move on. Especially if your former or you used tactics of control, which included a ban on friendly communication, minimizing the expression of feelings, insults, threats, intimidation and manipulation. If these items apply to you - stick your love under the door mat and leave. And do not look back.
You sagged under your ex
If you find yourself sacrificing an important part of yourself, putting on a mask that is alien to you to please your ex or to keep peace in a relationship, then such a relationship is certainly not worth maintaining. There are people who come to our life, it seems, to make us better, but as a result they only hurt us. Friends and relatives often point out this circumstance to us - from the side they know better. Most likely, your ex helped to see the light of a weaker and less attractive part of your nature that you didn’t suspect.
But this does not mean that this situation should last forever. This only means that you have been taught a lesson in which to understand. Never compromise with yourself. Be thankful for the opportunity to become stronger and continue to grow.
Your ex doesn't want to study
To create a healthy relationship you need to do a lot of things, love alone is usually not enough. Their most important factor is communication, especially if we consider that the ability to communicate is not given to us from birth. This skill needs to be developed, and in order for us to do this, we should recognize the need for communication.
In life, we often put up with habits that interfere with our mutual understanding: lying, silencing the truth to save relationships (to the best of our own understanding, of course), passive or aggressive reaction, or other inappropriate behavior in response to offense. It's one thing to be so by nature, and quite another to not want to learn any lessons to help strengthen ties with a partner. If you (or your ex) do not want to adapt and try new models of communication in practice, you will inevitably have to act in accordance with the old patterns. And in this situation, action is needed on both sides. If only one of you wants to change, it’s better to go in different directions right away.
All efforts are made only by you.
If your ex has cheated on you, took drugs or otherwise ruined your relationship, and also does not want or cannot change in addition, then it is extremely important for you to recognize that you cannot and cannot control his inner urges and thoughts. . For this you are not strong enough. You cannot love a partner firmly enough or somehow serve as a counterweight to him so that he can cope with his shortcomings. And you can never make him see what he is not ready or does not want to see.