One thing that can change your relationship (if you allow it)


Studies show that being able to excuse and ask for forgiveness is an integral part of successful romantic relationships. This is one of the most important factors that contributes to the satisfaction of partners in marriage and in love throughout life.

A man and a woman who can forgive each other, get rid of the pain and shame that keep them from a stronger bond. Emotional mood is a skill that allows couples to move away from negative events and create strong relationships. If you do not forgive, then do not move forward, which means that your outrage can lead to emotional and sexual distance.

She felt indignation and anger toward her husband when she learned that he was communicating with an ex-girlfriend in social networks. The man apologized and took responsibility for his actions, but the heroine does not want to forgive him. Over the past two months, she has closed herself sexually and emotionally from her partner, began to keep silent a lot and repeatedly pointed out that she was not sure that he cherishes their marriage: . We overcame a lot of obstacles: we adapted ourselves to crazy work schedules and problems with our husband's relatives. But this particular question is too serious. ” Resentment at a partner often leads to a lack of vulnerability and over time undermines trust, as happened with the heroine of the story. The couple was stuck in a negative relationship model, and the woman ceased to act with goodwill towards her husband. But it is benevolence that is an important element of a successful marriage.

"I can not accept the fact that he communicates with the former behind me." This is a betrayal. I learned by chance by reading a text message, where I saw her name. She knew that they were still friends, but he was hiding the correspondence and it turned out to be painful. ”

Is it possible to restore trust in her husband after the woman has already felt betrayed? The partner must be ready to put his relationship first and demonstrate the reliability of words and actions. A woman should be wise and try to trust, and not automatically assume the worst.

Perhaps the spouse did not believe that he could be completely open and honest, because his beloved once was very jealous of this girl. Maybe he is just afraid of losing his wife. In truth, many errors are not intentional, and it is better not to make an elephant out of a fly. Listen to your partner and avoid accusations or criticism.

If the situation between the heroes of the story does not change, then the partners can begin to feel how they are moving away and despising each other - and these are two main warning signs that marriage is doomed to failure.

Why is forgiving important? Often people equate this with weakness. It is widely believed that if you forgive someone, you justify their behavior. This is a big mistake. In marriage, forgiveness is a force that shows that you are capable of kindness towards your partner, a way to let go, be healed and live on. It is necessary in order to give yourself, your children and your partner the future you and they deserve: without prejudice, pain and anger. It is about living in conditions where the unresolved bitterness and indignation do not dominate people.

Forgiveness means not to forget about what happened, but to abandon claims in order to settle everything justly and go for reconciliation. Forgiveness can help you first.

Here are seven ways to change a marriage if you learn to forgive:

Write out the three negative emotions that have affected (or are still affecting) the marriage.

Remember them and try to find a way to fix something. Talk to a close friend or psychologist. They can help and facilitate the search for answers.

Find a way to get rid of negative emotions.

Do yoga, improve your physical health, practice with the expression of thoughts, feelings and wishes in a respectful way.

Take steps to mend relationships and let go of grievances.

The first thing that prevents couples from building trust and emotional intimacy is the inability of a healthy way out of conflict. You should go back to the mainstream after a quarrel, if you want the problems to disappear.

Take responsibility for interacting with a partner

If one person in a couple takes responsibility for the apology, then this can drastically change the dynamics of the relationship. The actions and reactions of a person modify the brain waves of another. Apologize to your partner when appropriate. This will confirm your feelings, will contribute to forgiveness and allow you to move on.

Don't let the wounds fester

Discuss what happened. This will let go of resentment and step towards a healthy relationship.

Accept that the person is doing everything possible.

This does not mean that you encourage the offensive actions of others. Just approach the problem more realistically.

Think like a person who can forgive

Avoid offenses and declare that you stop playing the role of a victim. In the end, we are all imperfect and deserve compassion. Learning to forgive will break the vicious circle of pain and help you move towards a healthy relationship. Forgiveness takes time and has much in common in order to let go of those things that you cannot control.