Psychology

9 things to overestimate if you want to live differently by 40 years


If you want to have a better day tomorrow, decide what gives you pleasure. If you want to have a better next year, determine what brings you pride. If you want to have a better future in 10 years, determine what keeps you at a dead end because of habits that you think bring you pleasure and pride.

1. Determine your motives.

If you do not like someone, but you can not stop communicating with him, there is a reason for this. If you want to lose weight, but at the same time feel the need to continue to overeat, then this is the reason. If you really want a relationship, but you can't seem to find yourself and find someone, then there is an explanation.

The human psyche is self-preserved. Everything we do happens because we think that it will somehow benefit us. If there is some kind of habit that you cannot overcome, or some kind of reality that you desperately want to change, you must first find out what you are here for. There is some basic wound, faith, or experience that scares you with your repetition.

You are not a victim of your chronic problems, you are in love with them because you think that they somehow serve you. Therefore, you continue to re-create situations in which you can apply them. Find out why you feed your problems with your positive emotions.

2. Ignore problems. Focus on their decisions.

“Ignore problems” sounds strange, as potentially the worst advice in the world (and, by the way, it is), but it is also the only advice that will really work in the long run.

When you constantly struggle with your problems, thinking about what you want, you constantly return yourself to the state of “not having”. If you want more money, you make yourself feel that this will not happen. If you want a relationship, you make yourself feel that you are disliked. Changes cause the ability not to analyze problems, but to create solutions and direct all of their energy to them.

Change is the restoration of the inner and the outer, and not being in ruins.

3. Stop consuming all toxic

You probably know the expression "You are what you eat." But its value can be expanded far beyond what you prefer for lunch or dinner.

Everything around you predetermines. The people you spend time with, the books you read, the place where you work, the habits you have, and, of course, what you eat and drink. You form yourself into a person that you become every day with each of these actions. If your destiny is your character, then your habits are your destiny.

Stop eating junk food and start feeling good. Stop sitting at home, expecting the day to be productive. Stop hanging out with the negative, stop pushing yourself into oblivion every weekend and wonder why you're stuck in your life. Pretense keeps you in denial.

4. Stop waiting

Many people will say that they need “some time to heal” before they return and begin to live their lives again. This is true if you intend to devote time to thinking.

However, this is also the way people avoid doing what they want and need to do. Do you know how you "treat" yourself? You start behaving differently. You start thinking differently. So you eradicate a life that you no longer want to live by building a new one.

Stop waiting for all wounds to heal before you return and start again.

5. Stop being "busy"

Employment means you do not know how to manage your time. “Very busy” is the most boring thing you can tell people when they ask what you are doing.

People either make themselves very busy, or pretend that they are very busy, and they do it for the same reason: avoiding someone. They either try to avoid themselves, or avoid other people. Both options are weak and do not lead to anything good.

Change your schedule: work better, but less. Leave a few hours free for people who care about you. Leave a few hours free for yourself. Create a life that overwhelms you with peace, not with meaningless chatter. There is no point in being "busy." It says nothing about your status, except that you are worried that you have no time for anything.

6. Make daily decisions for your long-term goals, not short-term desires.

Most people make choices based on their immediate desires, fears, and ideas.

When you choose what you want for dinner, you think “we will sing according to mood” and not “that will give me energy and make me feel good not only now, but after a few hours, after a few days, after a few years”. For fleeting feelings, it is so easy to outweigh the logic, but in the end we pay for it. We assume that “we will recover in one day” or “we will start saving in one day”, and then one day comes, and we understand that all the small daily habits we have collected have created the opposite of what we wanted before.

We forget that “someday” has arrived today, and the future is being created right now.

7. Choose your goals, given that one day you will not be

If you do not know what to choose or what to do, stand aside from your current situation and imagine that you look back at your life after death. Imagine that you are looking at your life in 10 years. What would you like to do today? Would you be glad you spent so much time buying clothes, watching TV, thinking about what you should do with your life? Will you be happy that your biggest achievement was bullying others?

Or do you want to let go of the situation and do something meaningful - something that you felt a vocation to? Will you be happy that you wrote music, spent time in the fresh air, told your loved ones that you love them, that you support them?

8. Stop wasting time assessing the lives of people you dislike or disagree with.

Ok, you don't understand why they did anything. You do not agree with their behavior. You would do better. You will not show them sympathy. You do not like them in general.

You are also subject to naive realism, which is that the reality is evident to you based on your own perspective and experience. You do not see the full picture, because you cannot see it. You do not know that if you were in someone else's situation, you would not behave in the same way. In fact, your contempt for them seems to imply that you are afraid.

But all you have done here is to illustrate the depth of your ego. All you have done here is to condemn the lives of people who do not push you forward, they just make you a hater. And people do it all the time. Gossip is a constant social life force.

Focus more on studying the lives of people you admire, and not on the lives of those who reveal your worst qualities.

9. Wake up and ask yourself every day: “What can I do today to change my life forever?”

Every day you have the potential to change your life forever. Every day is a portal, an opportunity to do something that will have an irrevocable impact on your life. So many of us take the time to calm our fear.

Ask yourself about it every day, and then start making a list of what you could do in the next few hours, which would change everything forever. The answers will surprise you.