There are problems that continue to appear again and again. Wouldn't it be nice to know the signs of a divorce so that you can figure out where to really concentrate efforts and give marriage the best chance for survival?
Here are 6 marriage mistakes that lead to divorce and what you can do to prevent them.
You talk to your friends about what your husband is doing.
Friends get upset knowing their friends are being bullied. They try to help in every possible way and often it turns out that they go too far. That is why talking about men with friends often leads, rather, to the conviction of her husband than to help.
Solution: Limit talk about your marital problems. Talk about them with a maximum of two people from the inner circle.
You think that talking about problems with your husband is the answer.
Too often, a woman thinks that talking to her husband is a way to explain and make him understand how his behavior affects her. If nothing changes when we raise this or that problem for the first time, then women start talking more, longer, louder and more often, because they think that they might not have been heard for the first time.
A polite, kind, pleasant conversation, which women try to follow, often becomes an indirect manipulator and riddle for a man. Women often come to the conclusion that her husband doesn’t care, because he does not change after the conversation.
Solution: learn communication skills designed specifically for communicating with men, and spend more time talking with the positive and in a pleasant, friendly atmosphere.
Do you believe that your happiness depends on the change of the husband
Studies have shown that happiness grows when a husband changes for the better, but this change happens with his wife. On the other hand, women who focus on becoming who they want to be, and not on how to make their husband change, were happier in the future.
Solution: focus on becoming better.
You and your husband live a parallel life.
Parallel life with a husband is a slippery slope to failure. The bonds of marriage flourish due to mutual interest, the pursuit of common goals and spending time with each other. Couples who try to reunite after their children have left home often realize that they no longer know each other.
Solution: take the time to find out what is important to your husband and tell him what is important to you.
You negatively focus on what's wrong.
One of the most difficult scenarios is a couple in which one or both people are stuck looking at each other through a negative lens, expecting the worst. Our brain does a wonderful job: knowing what we expect to see, we tend to view the husband only in the way that he does everything wrong. Further, we begin to treat any of his actions aggressively and negatively.
Solution: Balance your wishes with a positive outlook.
You say these deadly words: "I deserve ..."
This phrase should be excluded from your vocabulary. The mentality that goes along with the use of these words includes a form of law that kills the softness necessary for a couple to nurture one another.
Saying “I deserve” is a requirement in its essence, a reproach, and differs from an inner awareness that you are worth more and have the communication skills necessary to ask for more. Knowing what you are worth, you should rather inspire your husband.
Solution: understand what is important to you in a relationship, and learn how to ask for it correctly.