When you tend to experience only negative emotions, you do not notice the good things in your relationship. How to get rid of the negative so that it does not completely absorb you?
To begin with, mark these 20 statements as true or not true:
- It hurts me
- I do not understand
- I am angry
- I am disappointed
- Sometimes you just want to get up and leave.
- I feel unfairly blamed
- I think he has no right to talk to me like that.
- I'm in frustration
- I feel attacked
- I want to give back
- I want to protect myself
- I'm angry that they accuse me
- I have been unjustly criticized
- I want it to end
- I am being manipulated
- I'm trying to control
- His complaints are unfounded
- I'm trying to shut out
- I am indifferent to relationships
- I think I don't need a relationship
If you agreed with 5 or more statements, it means that your level of negativity goes off scale, and you need to do something about it urgently. Here are 4 tips on how to rebuild relationships in a positive way.
Have fun together
At the beginning of a relationship, shared entertainment seemed natural. You were glad to see each other, laughed together, could talk for hours on end. And now you can not even remember when the last time they laughed at something together.
Of course, you now have more responsibilities. You have a job, a home, children. However, you just need to spend time together and preferably - together.
Get rituals that would bind you
There are many rituals that unite people. How do you say goodbye in the morning? Do you know what your partner will do today? How do you meet in the evening? Are you interested in how his day went? Do you have dates?
All this is incredibly important for relationships. Spend time together. Once a week, get together in a restaurant or a walk. Discuss your life without interference: without children, friends, phones.
How do you celebrate the holidays? Do you and your partner have secret memorable dates that nobody knows about except for you? You need to have secret traditions and rituals. Then you will become closer.
Study your involvement in relationships.
This is the basis of everything. How committed are you to your partner? Is it in the first place for you? He must feel what it means to you more than other people. What do you trust him. Think about how much trust in your pair?
Determine the rules of disputes
All couples swear. Another thing is how they do it. Any, even the most fierce dispute should not move from discussing problems to mutual insults. Respect for each other in a pair should be paramount. You may disagree, but never have to prove your position with aggression.