What reason can be a catalyst for a crisis? What needs to be done to save the family and re-love your spouse? How to determine that it was a crisis in life, and not temporary difficulties? We will help you find the answers to these questions.
Psychologists have long identified the most dangerous periods in family life. Relationship crises occur a certain time after their inception. The active phases of mutual love are replaced by periods of decline, when a man and a woman cannot find a point of contact. Their views diverge, there is dissatisfaction with life together in general and with a partner in particular.
All this results in a series of quarrels, silent protests and boycotts. The crisis in relationships is a regularity, a “natural” phenomenon. It can not be avoided, but you can survive. Crisis situations are becoming a severe test for marriage, which can end in a complete rupture of relations. If you know in time about the approaching storm, then you can prepare for it.
5 signs of a crisis in relationships
What is the crisis in the relationship for a woman? A problematic situation arises when clouds gather over family well-being. A crisis is always expressed in negative emotions:
You don't want a husband
The first and most alarming bell is the lack of physical attraction to a man. Sexual relations remain one of the important components of a strong relationship. Moral satisfaction begins with the physical. If a woman does not feel attracted to her husband, it can be a reason for adultery, which, if it does not destroy the marriage, then shake it more.
If before a woman was moved by the habits of a man, now they are infuriating. You want to isolate yourself from him and go to another room, just to not hear him sip his tea, comment on a football match, or purr under his breath during work. Sometimes a burning feeling of shame is mixed with this if the husband does it all in public, although a woman has never experienced anything like this before.
It seems to you that the husband does not appreciate you
He does not thank for the cooked dinner, stopped giving flowers and small gifts, to give signs of attention. The cleaned house, the washed linen, the washed ware, well-groomed children - the man began to perceive all this, as a reality. At least it seems that way to a woman. To remind you of your own contribution to the cup of family life, it’s enough to leave for a couple of days. Let the man independently try to cope with household chores and be aware of how much trouble his wife has shouldered.
You feel that you have fallen out of love with your husband
Bright emotions of the first love passed. A woman begins to think that the person with whom she lives under the same roof has become a stranger and distant to her. His presence no longer causes pleasant emotions, I don’t want to take care of him, and in the dreams of the future the place of the second half remains vacant.
You feel melancholy
You are so sad that you want to howl. A woman begins to cry often, feels deeply unhappy, depressed and unnecessary to anyone.
These five signs are symptoms of a crisis in a relationship, not their end. The problem period, which can and must be experienced, to go into the future hand in hand, as in the beginning of life together.
Where does everything come from: the causes of the crisis in the relationship
The first relationship crisis occurs already 2–3 months after the wedding. Then problems arise after 1 year of marriage and after the birth of the first child. These crisis situations can be described as small collisions of views, without which it is impossible to get to know each other better and “get used to” the partner. Three periods of marriage are considered the most dangerous:
- 3 years relationship.
- 7 years relationship.
- 12 years relationship.
There is also a fourth dangerous period. It comes after 25 years of marriage. Like a rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper, and a rare pair will live together for so long. Divorce statistics cites sad figures: almost half of couples diverge after 3 and 7 years of family life. The most enduring hold out for 12 years, and 25 years is becoming an almost unattainable dream for most marriage associations.
It should be clearly understood that crisis situations are natural. They can not be ignored, but can be found fully armed. The catalyst for a crisis in relationships that releases accumulated resentment may be:
- Changing the financial situation of the family.
- Loss of work by one of the spouses or, on the contrary, the long-awaited increase, after which the husband or wife disappear for days in the office.
- The birth of a child and the emergence of new troubles, for which the spouses forget about the needs of each other.
- Difficulties in relations with relatives.
- Age crisis in the life of one of the spouses.
- Moving to a new place of residence. Problems with housing.
- Lack of psychological support from the spouse.
- Conflict of interest (clash of views), which opened a soul mate from a completely unexpected side.
- Some add to this list also treason, but the campaign "left" is a consequence of the crisis, and not its cause. In a happy relationship, a partner is not looking for pleasure on the side.
How to survive a relationship crisis
To save the family and discover for yourself and your spouse new facets of relationships, go to the next level of intimacy, you need to follow three golden rules:
- Forgiveness: the ability to forgive is a true art, which, alas, is not accessible to everyone. Give your partner a second chance. If he really stumbled, he will definitely do everything to prove his love and devotion.
- Conversation: you can not hush up your problems and isolate yourself from the second half, withdraw into yourself. A lump of grievances accumulated sooner or later will break free and provoke a grand scandal. Talk to the man. Discuss the situation. Learn not only to hear, but also to listen.
- Compromise: there are no hopeless situations. You can get out of any position, but for two the search for a compromise is doubly easier.
To liven up family relationships, dilute the routine of everyday life with bright surprises: manipulate the riverbed of family life in your own way, because you are the boss here. Arrange a romantic dinner, take theater tickets, go for a two-day trip, buy a gift for the second half for no reason, light up happy sparks in the eyes of a beloved man and light up from them yourself.