Disagreements happen all the time. Strange as it may be, quarrels are an indicator of healthy relationships. In fact, there are several advantages in disputes with your soulmate.
Regardless of the benefits, we can all agree that quarrels are an aspect of a relationship that you hate, but you have to go through this.
There is a system that works whenever partners encounter any disagreement.
Give each other space
It is necessary to give each other space every time a quarrel occurs. Sometimes this can mean physical space, sometimes it’s just not to get close to a partner for a while. In any case, the goal is to distance itself. This is a necessary step to clear our mind and collect our thoughts.
Much can be said because of anger, pain, or frustration. These things can have dire consequences for a relationship. To avoid these emotional scars, go away for a while until you are both ready to talk.
Return to the problem when both want to talk
As soon as the tension fades away, approach the partner. Although it may not be appreciated, it is still a reminder that you want to solve the problem and make sure that the partner is in order. When both of you are ready, get together and express your point of view in turn. This is an opportunity to understand exactly what the problem is.
Both partners express their claims in turn (several times, if necessary)
After the problem has been resolved, begin to delve into what the other person is trying to convey, which is why the disagreement has occurred. Maybe you raised your voice, but he did not like it. Maybe he turned away from you, which you took as a sign that he refuses to listen.
Due to the different upbringing, we tend to interpret some behaviors in different ways. This, of course, causes a lot of confusion and misunderstanding. You must express insults.
Listen, understand, not answer
The big mistake you can make is to listen as your partner explains and strike back. This habit that does not help. You may wish to refute his arguments, but when you fight someone you love, there are no “victories” or “defeats”.
Your partner is not an enemy, but a loved one. Smooth this competitive venture. This will give you an incentive to listen with the intention to understand your partner, rather than attack him. Here is the solution.
Come to an understanding / compromise
As soon as the partners got the opportunity to clarify the situation and be understood, it is time to find a solution. Sometimes there is no problem, and all that is really required is understanding. In other cases, this may be an incident that needs to be addressed: change the behavior, the way in which a particular idea is expressed, or many other changes. An important aspect is that both people feel that they are getting something important from this conversation. When there is understanding, compromise and agreement, the struggle is almost over.
Apologize for all the bad
Some may argue that this should be the first step, and for some, it may just need to be done first. Some need to cool down before genuinely apologize or accept an apology.
You did it. It's time to kiss and make up. The loving embrace that you secretly longed for, but did not want to give, is now free and open. Try to make a rule: when reconcile, be sure to cuddle and say to each other, "I love you." This is a great reminder that despite everything you just went through, you still care about each other. In addition, this is a great transition back to a happy state in which you usually live.
Hooray. The quarrel is over.
While partners are ready to work, these tips may be helpful. Of course, each pair is different and may need a slightly different order. Feel free and tailor your items to your specific needs.