Women rarely admit to becoming victims of domestic violence. Someone is afraid, someone does not want to break the external idyll, and someone even thinks that it should be so. But, of course, there is nothing normal in this. What makes a man raise his hand on a woman, and what should she do about it?
Why does a man beat a woman
The fact that a man raised his hand to a woman can be a lot of reasons. We will not consider men with hopeless deviations - the only way out of this situation is to try to stay away from them. But what makes a healthy and seemingly adequate man raise a hand on his partner?
If a man himself is different from cruelty and the desire to hurt someone, this is a good reason to leave him, even if he is very good at everything else.
He does not know how to show you his superiority, but he knows that he must do it. This causes aggression on his part, which sometimes gets out of control and leads to the most unpleasant consequences.
I'm a man, or what? A man must demonstrate his superiority over a woman. This is what is often driven into the head of young people since childhood. Domestic violence from the point of view of many men is a logical demonstration of such superiority. Often, men do not even see anything wrong in insisting on their own, using force. Very often this behavior on the part of a man is the result of an example of parents.
The reason for this behavior may be a woman. Not all differ exemplary and modest behavior. If a woman falls into a real hysterical, a man becomes very difficult to resist. To reason with her, he uses the only effective option. You can endlessly blame him for not having this right, but in some situations the man simply does not know what to do.
Can an adequate man raise a hand against a woman
Having got rid of sexual prejudices, let us clarify - no one person has the right to raise a hand against another, be it a man or a woman. However, men have more opportunities to harm a woman, of course.
The most important thing here is to get rid of the idea that it is normal, that all men do it and that it is in the order of things. A normal man who appreciates and respects his beloved will never raise his hand to you. The one who dares to do this will definitely prove himself in something else. According to psychologists, cruelty in a person is not just born. If a person is not initially inclined to this, he will find other, more peaceful ways to solve the conflict.
How to identify an aggressive man
What should a woman do in order not to face such a problem and not fall for the man, who will assert herself at your expense? First of all, pay attention to the adverse signs, which can be noticed even in the early stages of dating.
He does not consider it necessary to behave decently, even in the very early stages of dating? This is clearly a warning signal, which indicates that it is not worth continuing the relationship with such a person.
The impulsiveness and temperamental character in themselves is not such a big problem, but rather a peculiarity of a person. But the inability to cope with their feelings should alert you.
Even worse, if a man does not directly manifest his aggression, but expresses constant discontent, not daring to solve the conflict by actions. Such people, according to experts, are most often prone to aggressive behavior.
Beats, then love?
It is difficult to say exactly where this strange opinion came from. But for some reason such an argument is most often used by those who wish to console a woman who has been subjected to physical violence by a man. Where it came from, and how beatings can be an indicator of any feelings, is hard to say.
In Russia there is an interesting phenomenon - the love of suffering. Women inextricably associate feelings with problems, their harmonious relations are practically of no interest. How is it that a man loves and is not jealous? Do not pounce with fists, if a woman returned home late?
Of course, such behavior has absolutely nothing to do with love, it is nothing more than possessiveness. Do you want to be a thing in his hands, or strive to be a full-fledged person? The choice is yours.
Why do women tolerate it?
Strangely enough, according to statistics, most women prefer to remain in a problematic relationship, even if it threatens them with unpleasant consequences. Keep them for a variety of reasons:
- Love: Yes, this situation is very common. It is difficult to love a man who mocks a woman, but many women see satisfaction in constantly sacrificing themselves to their feelings and maintaining relationships.
- A pity: sometimes wives don't like their husbands. Nevertheless, they pity them very much, and they fear that, in the event of separation, the man will be doomed to loneliness.
- Fear: sometimes the situation is even more complicated than it seems. And for all the questions from her friends, why she lives with this despot, a woman will whisper about great love, while in reality only a mortal fear of what a man can do if she declares her desire to disperse is pursuing her. Sometimes this fear is not at all so baseless as it seems to many from the outside, and sometimes a woman is too intimidated to make such decisions. In this case, she really needs the help of loved ones.
- Children: the situation is even more complicated if the couple have children. Sometimes they only exacerbate the problem, and sometimes they themselves are the main link that holds the spouses together. Be that as it may, children will not be at all better if their mother is unhappy next to their father.
What should a woman do in such a situation?
Psychologists believe that there is a way out of almost every situation. If you want to find for yourself a happy relationship with this person, then the best thing is to talk to a man. It is possible that he will listen to you if he really loves you. Sometimes there are situations when such behavior is only a trace of behavior on the part of his parents or other psychological trauma. In this case, the conversation can change his attitude to this issue.
If no talk helps, you should think about your own mental balance and leave. If a man is not ready to change for the sake of your comfort, this is a clear sign indicating that you are not on your way.