Men divide women into two types:
- With this, I will spend the night / weekend / week / month
- From this I will share all my life.
What should a woman be? It seems that she owes everything: to her parents - grandchildren, to society - bestowal, to men - affection, care and comfort. Society rejects individuality. He does not need your inner world, no matter how beautiful it may be. He needs one thing - that you were in the role that you were given.
And women accept the rules. They decide to please, not to be expelled from the habitat. At first, all with a stretch - they do only what is expected of them. But then they come to taste, and they are already branding themselves with stereotypes, turning into:
- draft horses
- business woman
And other characters. Every time women choose new roles for themselves. In the morning - one, in the afternoon another, in a week - the third ... But here lies the trap.
Women play around in such a way that “a button is turned on” in their head: “I can earn love if I am useful to someone.” This is how the “maid” mode is activated or, as we used to say, a “comfortable” woman.
A “comfortable” woman is not a scattering of roles. This is a banal peeping at a man (friends, relatives, colleagues, superiors) in the mouth. On the one hand, such a woman blindly follows directions. On the other hand, it can position itself as “I am not like this, I am not comfortable,” but at the same time indulge everyone and provoke destructive situations for themselves and their lives. There is only one outcome - the woman has driven herself into the cage and is spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, wasting away
your strength on useless actions.
One way or another she does not live for herself. She lives for others. And no matter who she considers herself or who they consider her. The main thing is that which is what others want to see.
Julia Lanske, a love coach and an expert in finding the perfect match.
Comfortable woman for men. Who is she?
Surprisingly, women themselves invent all the stereotypes about women. Their imagination is truly limitless, and the points of view are incalculable. They themselves make up roles for themselves, play them themselves and themselves condemn the play of others (sometimes
In men, everything is easier. Due to the natural features - they do not complicate. They say they are. Dry and in fact. Therefore, these games in "mistresses", "queens", "muses" and other "sublime" characters they pass by. They are not interested in loading themselves with useless things.
For them, a “comfortable” woman is a woman with whom she is comfortable. As you can see, everything is simple.
Convenience for men is:
1. Sex without commitment
To extravaganza was when he wants. To be satisfied with what he needs. Women in this case do everything, whatever the man asks. Even if it goes beyond their values.
2. When a woman asks nothing and does not stick his nose in his business
Completely superficial relationships at the level of primitive communication about the weather and the hurricane in bed. That does not strain and does not carry a deep meaning. After opening up, a man lets a woman into his world. Here this world is sealed with seven seals.
3. No commitments or promises.
A man comes and goes when he needs. He knows that a woman will always accept him, embrace him, warm him, caress him ... and take advantage of it.
4. No liability
A man does nothing for her (or does very little) and does not delve into her life. Even if they are together - the borders are drawn by the deepest moat in which hungry alligators live. He does not take part in her life, he is alone with the problems. With her, he is only when she is doing well and radiating happiness.
Rest, sex, travel. A woman does everything he wants because she considers him to be his gift. He calmly uses it, paying off the money. A completely equal exchange is money for love.
6. No talk about marriage
She just dreams that if he behaves the way he leads, he will make her an offer. She is silent, completely entrusting herself to his hands. And he just takes advantage of what they give.
This condition is extremely dangerous for a woman. If you do not settle down in time, you can easily be “overboard” of life.
The convenience program is activated. Where does a woman have a tendency to such a role.
Being “comfortable” is taught from childhood. From infancy, women are inculcated with stereotypes and beliefs that they should be:
- meet expectations
- take care of others
Of course, these are good qualities. They will not interfere with all people, but only women are served with a sauce: "You give me - I give you." They are tuned to the fact that if they are not as they are seen by others, they will not get
It so happened that women are always and everywhere accused. Shift responsibility on them. Is the man gone? It is her fault that the relationship did not work out. Is a man a loser? She didn't strike a finger to make it.
the winner. Children did not take place or went on an incline? She is guilty of not seeing, raising, not revealing their potential.
In general, the label on the label and the label chases. The society has decided that the nature of a woman should give herself without reserve to others and not ask for anything in return. Women accepted it, humbled themselves - and set foot on the path
self-destruction, without even knowing the consequences.
From self-destruction to marriage
Stop! Enough! Let's face it. Who to be? "Comfortable"? Or is it a person with his desires, aspirations, willpower, opinion and principles? Is it really easier for a woman to follow the "herd", wasting her life on satisfying men and the whims of others?
Do women really consider such a relationship a manifestation of love?
You personally need this kind of love, where a man uses your body and other resources, shifts the responsibility on you, wipes his legs at you whenever possible, outgoing his emotions ... and gives you nothing in return?
The answer is one - no, no, and again no!
“The one with which it is convenient” and “The one with which you want to share life” - how to recognize?
How to understand how men see you - "comfortable" or "happy wife"?
Check which signs match your situation more.
So, a happy woman-wife is a woman who aspires to her dream. She has a goal. She certainly has hobbies. It is socially active, but not influenced by others. She has her
opinion and character. Sometimes difficult and incomprehensible, which gives it even more charm. She clearly understands what she wants from life and develops, constantly working on herself, listening to herself, her heart and desires. She loves herself
appreciates herself, she is engaged in that it is pleasant and shines with happiness. Not to love her is simply impossible.
A “comfortable” woman is a woman who “earns” love, trying to please everyone. She pulls on herself what is “hung” on her, and then, at night, she sheds tears into the pillow. She lives in a constant sense of guilt and duty.
How to understand what you are? Very simple! Answer 4 questions for yourself:
- Are you really happy?
- Do you follow the call of your heart?
- Do you live as you want?
- Do you do what you like?
Answer the questions honestly. Not for me. Yourself. If at least one you answered "NO" - this is an alarming sign. It is urgent to take action and get out of this state.
Transformation from a “comfortable” woman to a “wife”
4 steps to take to get out of the "stagnant" state and begin to live at the maximum level of happiness and pleasure.
Step # 1. Realize that you don’t need to “earn” love
Love is not a reward for the fact that you know how to wash, iron, cook and please a man. Do not associate these things with each other. No need to "earn" love. If a man shows you favor only when
you do something for him - why do you need it?
Step 2. Eliminate from your life the rule “You for me - I for you”
Understand that happiness is freedom. This is "no waiting room" and not a market. You have the right to give or not to give - only you decide. No need to force yourself to make someone good. Nobody needs your efforts through
force, to the detriment of itself. They simply will not appreciate.
The world needs you (but first of all, you yourself) happy and full, not exhausted and depressed. From the last go. Is always.
If you want to share - do it only if you think it is necessary. If this feeling is not there - why waste time, energy, energy and youth on useless things? After all, the return you receive is not equivalent to what you give. And an imbalance is a manifestation of self-dislike. It is disharmony within you. It is pain, disappointment and suffering. Do you need all this?
Step # 3. Think about the convenience for yourself, not how to please others
Put your wishes at the forefront. Stop underestimating yourself, consider a second-rate person. Are you being used? Break the relationship without regret. Without hesitation. Do not let anyone dictate and impose your way of life and thinking on you. Do not let someone put a price tag on you. Only you decide what you deserve and where to go, how to live and what to do. Keep this right and start using it for yourself.
Step # 4. Stop being a servant
It doesn't matter if it's a brother, matchmaker, mother, father, or your favorite. Stop being a servant for them. Stop blindly fulfill their whims and desires. Show your character. It would not be amiss to shake those who are trying by you
manipulate and bend under him. Draw the boundaries between the area of responsibility and personal space. Let them learn to do without you.
You are not a maid. You are a woman!
It is important to understand that strong, self-sufficient women attract the corresponding men. But you need this, right? Why do you spend time on "consumers" who suck the life out of you? Why do something that drains you to the bottom and makes you suffer? Right! Not for nothing!
And you will see for yourself. Gradually, step by step, start changing, and your life will sparkle with new colors. I, Julia Lanske, with all my heart wish you this to happen as soon as possible!
And in order to speed up the process and make it more effective - read my book “The Rose of Love and Femininity”, in which I step by step reveal the path of transformation into a woman-wife in theory and practice. Learn more about the book
you can here. See you later!