The causes of conflicts of each pair may be their own. To identify these reasons, which ultimately lead to quarrels in a relationship, is only half the battle. The other half is solved by proper communication with your man. And that is why the specific words that you use in conversation with him are so important.
What type of words should you not use with your man?
You may be surprised, but there are two words that psychologists recommend avoiding in a relationship, because they have a high chance of developing into disagreement or a full-scale conflict. These words:
The word "always" tends to elicit a defensive response (at best) and a repressive response (at worst) during disagreements. None of these answers promote healthy relationships.
So why does the word "always" cause such a reaction? The reality does not depend on what kind of accusation you are making against your man; this is hardly always true. Using the word "always", you used a defensive (or even repressive) response. Very often, the problem that you tried to convey to your man is lost, because he will be able to demonstrate at least one case in which this particular statement of yours (no matter what you do) is not always true.
This word is similar to "always." All it achieves, it develops a dispute and adds fuel to the fire. For example, it may seem that your man "never" invites you for a date. But using the word "never", you offer your partner to respond with several examples (in his defense) when he did invite you to see you to indicate that your statement was false.
In fact, you wanted to say that he rarely invites you for dates, but by formulating it with the word “never,” you start a useless argument. There are clearer ways to raise the real problem that arises in your relationship: just be careful how you put it.
Using either of the above two words, all you do is set up an argument from which your man will feel obligated to defend himself, because he will feel it is wrong to “always” do this or that and never to do another. Creating an argument and giving your man the opportunity to "take revenge" is never a good idea in a relationship and, ultimately, will lead you nowhere.
Much in building a happy and long-term relationship is not so much what you do or say, it is rather an avoidance of what you should not do or say. So you avoid the growth of contempt in the relationship. Happy couples are more often just smart couples in the sense that they are wise enough to avoid, do or say what they know will hurt or annoy one another unnecessarily.