Perhaps the child is easier to give birth than to raise. Meanwhile, the way a child’s childhood and upbringing can affect his or her entire fate. Of course, there are no ideal parents - we all make mistakes. However, there are unforgivable mistakes that can break the fate of a child, spoil his childhood and a healthy attitude to the world and to himself. Over such errors should seriously work and try to prevent them.
Here are 8 unforgivable mistakes that parents make in relation to their children.
Set strict limits and control every child’s action.
Rules and healthy norms in the family, of course, should be. However, they should not drive the child into the cage. You should not turn into a person who limits his child in everything: in leisure, in food, in communication. He, in fact, does not have his personal space, and he sees only prohibitions in front of him - which, by the way, no matter how hard you try, he will find a way around.
There are cases when mothers do not give freedom to children who are already well over 20. They are not allowed to walk with friends in the evening, there is what they consider necessary and to communicate with those who they like. As a result, such children risk not finding themselves in life, not to mention the fact that they may hate their parents for senseless restrictions.
“You are so stupid!”, “What a crazy person you are!”, “Why did I get such a talentless child!” - these and other insults and calls to the child not only do not speak in your favor, but also ruin his life and his future. Not only can feelings of inferiority and lowered self-esteem develop in a child - he can also turn away from the whole world and become a very complex and embittered person.
Scream and scold the child in the presence of others
It is unlikely that after you scream several times or punish a child in the presence of others, he will trust you - do not even hope. The older the child, the more acutely he perceives public whipping - this is for him as a betrayal on your part, and he is unlikely to forgive him or be able to pacify the resulting pain and resentment in himself.
Beat the baby
Undoubtedly, each parent has its own method of education. Some people think that you cannot grow a child without reason for punishment and punishment. Others are guided by the theory of "carrots and sticks", and still others try never to raise a hand on a child and always explain to him what he is wrong with in words and accessible examples. Be that as it may, always remember the rule - whenever you can, try not to resort to physical punishment of the child, and there is always such an opportunity.
Never praise and do not show a warm attitude to the child
If you are always callous with your child and are cold to him, you will constantly belittle him and never - to praise, you will deprive him of perhaps the most important thing - the feeling that he is loved. A child who grew up without warmth and love risks becoming a very cruel or very unhappy person in the future. Do not allow this to happen - often hug your child and show him that you love him (even if in your heart you cannot find this feeling in yourself - everything happens in life).
Do not engage with the child
It is necessary to borrow with the child from the very cradle - to talk with him, communicate, learn words, read and write. It is especially important to work with a child with special needs, including taking care of trained specialists. The future of your child at that stage is in your hands - give him the best education (in the broad sense of the word) that you are capable of.
Do everything for the child
The other extreme - too hard to care for the child. He is already 12, and you still help him brush his teeth, tie his shoelaces and even do his homework for him? Believe me, you are doing him a disservice. It is better to gradually teach the child to be independent - this will help him in his future adult life. Otherwise
Trying to impose their unfulfilled dreams on a child
As a child, did you dream of playing the piano or becoming a doctor, and now your child goes on his way to the profession that you teach him, even if he dreams of something completely different? It is unlikely that you make your child happier this way. Rather, you are behaving selfishly, imposing your unfulfilled dreams on your child. Give him more creative freedom and support him in his personal endeavors.