A few years ago I met Leonid. He attracted me with his openness, wildness, desire to try new things and take risks. Lenya was an avid tourist, traveler, biker, cyclist, parachutist and stuntman. In general, everything that is connected with danger to life and development of adrenaline, he tried immediately.
For the first couple of weeks we just chatted nicely with messages, getting to know each other as much as possible, and then Lenya called me on a hike through the rocky terrain. Not knowing what it is, I cautiously agreed. But Lenya assured that everything will be fine, the main thing is to be smart, strong and athletic. But with this I had problems, but I, of course, tactfully kept silent.
The campaign was a success for Leni and his friends, but not for me. I struggled to overcome the hills and rocks, I did not know how to use climbing equipment, I was shaking with fear, I was terribly tired and almost all the time I spilled on Lenina's arm, which was my life support. In the evening, by the fire, my cavalier loudly told everyone about his ex-wife, whom they had broken up with, because she was completely inactive, not athletic, and did not share his desire for risk. I involuntarily chuckled, but, politely silent.
A week later, Lenya suggested I jump from a parachute. “It will be cool, these are such sensations, you can’t even imagine!”, He assured. I really liked the man and attracted him, and I decided to try to find a common language again. I will not go into details about the fact that I, of course, did not jump from a parachute - I was sick, scared and stepped back.
After that, we no longer communicated with Leonid. And not because I am overgrown with a bunch of complexes and fears, but because I realized that he is not mine. Those relationships, where from the very beginning you need to adjust, please, try to live up to the level and not be yourself, will not bring anything good. Then it will only get worse, because the degree of dissatisfaction with oneself will only grow, and, sooner or later, it will lead to the collapse of everything. And why push yourself into something that you obviously do not have in size? It is better to wait, but find your own, which will be your puzzle piece for the rest of your life.