An egoist is not just one who is vain or adores himself. True egoists cause real emotional harm to their friends, family members, colleagues and loved ones because of their heartless sympathy, excessive sense of right and unwillingness to change their abusive behavior.
In relationships, true egoists control you, manipulate you, coerce, humiliate, isolate and sabotage you. But first, they fascinate and lure you into their poisonous web, presenting a false mask that is not very similar to their true nature.
Here are five cruel things that selfish men do in relationships, but most women do not realize this.
1. He pays attention to you and then leaves.
You think that he is simply “busy” or has a “bad day” when, after several days of non-stop correspondence, phone calls and 24-hour attention, he suddenly moves away with terribly cold indifference.
At first, you may mistakenly take his devaluation as the normal cooling phase after the honeymoon of a new relationship. The difference is that this sudden “switch of attitude” towards you repeats time after time.
He can subject you to brutal insults, obvious and hidden insults, and even make you believe that you are going crazy. The person who behaves in this way is almost not like the person to whom he imagined himself at the beginning. The way he ignores your feelings, needs, says a lot about his true character.
2. Gives you silent treatment for no apparent reason.
He disappears for several days, he breaks off talking about his behavior even before they begin (this has a detrimental psychological effect on the brain and psyche). When you contact him, he does not answer you. As a result, you stop believing that you did something wrong in order to “provoke” his silence and withdrawal.
He can chat with other people at an event that you both attend, pretending that you do not exist. He can flirt excessively with women on social networks, ignoring your messages and phone calls. He may even be in the same room with you and not say a word, flirting with others on the phone all the time to provoke you. True egoists create these scenarios themselves to create a feeling of insecurity in their victims and make them beg for attention.
No matter what means he uses, this silent processing is used to deprive you of legitimate feelings, make you feel invisible and make you think that you are "less than" worthy of being treated with respect and by understanding.
3. Creates love triangles between you and other women, constantly comparing and humiliating you
He may begin to mention his girlfriend, who is very attractive, or praise someone for the qualities he ignores in you. He may have a cursory list of ex, with whom he spends time. He can compare you with other people in terms of appearance, status, attractiveness, personality traits, professional success, or the ability to satisfy his needs.
If he does this, he tries to provoke you and compel you to compete for his attention and approval. An adequate person does not try to consciously compare his soul mate with other people.
4. He holds back attention, compliments and affection with scorn.
At the beginning of a relationship, your man could create the impression that he could not get enough of you. However, as soon as he sees that you have bought on his dodge hook, he will begin to control you.
Perhaps at first he always wanted you, but after a short period of time he barely holds your hand in public and scolds you if you dare to ask why. Maybe he usually praised you for your talents and successes, but now he cannot stop criticizing you for the same qualities that he once praised.
This is different from a man just losing interest. As soon as he finds out that you are interested enough for them, he deliberately pulls the rug out from under him as a power game, so that you have to force him to be even stronger.
5. He diminishes your strengths, achievements, and independence to control you.
Perhaps in the beginning, he made you feel special and unique in relation to what you have achieved. Now he reacts with rage, condescension and contempt in response to all that gives you joy. This is because the egoists are pathologically jealous of their halves. They consider anyone who has something they desire to be “under them” to protect their fragile ego.
When the victim is independent and can assert itself, it causes the brightness of the true egoist. They belittle you for what you are proud of. You may be led to believe that you must be arrogant to be proud of yourself. But the truth is that any normal man should be happy for you and encourage your independence.
However, the real daffodil relies on the fact that its victims depend on it. They make their victims associate any healthy pride with punishment and cruelty. Thus, their victims are less likely to pave the way back to freedom, as they move away from the very same hobbies, passions, interests, and goals that give them a fulfilling life.
What to do if you meet with an egoist?
If you are in any way connected with an egoist, know that their poisonous behavior is not your fault. You deserve respect, attention, affection. You deserve consistency and healthy communication. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve to meet your basic needs and rights in a relationship.
After selfish violence, there is life, but first you must recognize that this person is unlikely to change. You must be prepared to get away from it, even if at first it seems impossible. Be aware that any “love” you may experience grows out of the traumatic connection that was reinforced by their manipulative violence. True love is not violence or mistreatment. True love will help, but not harm.
Be ready to love yourself more than you love an egoist. You deserve true love. You deserve prosperity and victory. You deserve to be free.